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Too Pooped to Pop

March 13, 2017

I'm often really tired.  I spend a lot of time relaxing, napping, resting, lounging, de-stressing, reclining, and sleeping.  I spend a lot of time sleeping.  This past Saturday, I slept basically all day.  I could not get enough sleep, apparently.  I cannot get enough sleep, apparently.

 

Some of this is, I think, more baggage I picked up from my years battling depression.  I got into the habit of needing a lot of rest and now it's just how I roll.  Some of it is likely related to my weight issues.  Some of it is my inner child saying, 'I don't wanna be awake.'  My mother wasn't a napper.  She was up and busy all day long.  Until college, I wasn't really a napper, either.  However, in the last five years alone I have made up for any naps I might have missed in my youth.  When you live alone, it's easy to nap the day away.  No one is relying on you to make lunch (or dinner) and I can let the dog out into the backyard so she isn't dying for a walk.  

 

I can't decide if I really do just need a lot more sleep than the average person (I thrive, generally, on 9 or 10 hours a night) or if I'm lazy or if I have gotten into the habit of wanting/getting a great deal of sleep.  I'd love to be a more productive person.  I'd love to be able to keep more of my promises.  This weekend, for example, when I couldn't stay awake all day on Saturday, I had to dip out on the second performance of the school's spring musical.  I didn't want to miss it.  I was really looking forward to it, but I was just so damn tired.

 

Doctors have tested my thyroid, my blood sugar, my Vitamin D.  I'm taking powerful antidepressants.  One of my goals for this year is to see a sleep doctor.  There's probably a solution to my endless sleepiness.  However, in the meantime, I'm going to keep enjoying my amazing mattress (it's a Casper and I'm not getting paid but I love mine) and bingeing on Netflix (there's more Great British Baking Show now!) and snuggling with Birdie.  And if I dip out on our plans together (especially if they happen after 7pm), then I'm really sorry.  I really am.

 

 

 

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