For most of my life, I've been talking about food. Sometimes, it's been fun: "Yes! That cake was amazing. How did you make the frosting?" "I'd love to tell you all about what I ate while I was vacationing in Senegal!" "Let's definitely eat a corn dog while we're at the Fair." Most of the time, though, it's been utterly miserable: "I'm counting calories/points/grams of fat." "No, thanks. I'm avoiding sugar right now." "I hate myself because I just ate two pieces of cheesecake."
Last week, I was having dinner with a friend. We were eating in peace and I realized that I actually was enjoying my meal. I didn't feel judged by her. I wasn't worried that others were giving me the side eye for saying 'yes' to dessert. I just got to eat my meal and have a nice time. It was pretty liberating, let me tell you. I don't get many meals like that...not even when I'm eating alone in my house.
So, I've decided something: I'm not going to talk about what I'm eating anymore. Maybe I'm trying a new thing where I eat only potatoes three days a week. Maybe I'm going Paleo. Maybe I'm eating exclusively Nachos Bell Grande. None of it is anyone's business but my own. We live a world that is currently ravaged by natural disasters, uninformed politics, and cruel prejudice. The very last thing that I want to be discussing is what I ate for dinner. Or what I'm planning to eat for lunch. Who cares? Instead, I'm going to focus conversations on things that matter to me more: the aforementioned sorrows, the book I'm currently reading (Kayla Rae Whitaker's The Animators...which is really wonderful), or my plans for traveling the country in a camper.
I am still happy to hear about what you're eating if that's what you'd like to discuss. I know that I'm one of the only ones who doesn't want to talk about it. It's a big topic for discussion. We're surrounded by news stories and books and television shows and all manner of media that want to do nothing more than discuss what you or she or they are eating. That's fine. I just don't want to talk about what I'm eating anymore. I've spent most of my 37 years feeling pretty terrible/sad/judged/disgusting about and because of what I've been eating. I'm not interested anymore.